People are often surprised when I show up on therapy pet visits because they don’t believe it’s something cats can do. They believe that cats aren’t friendly or social, and that this is a role mainly for dogs. 
What people don’t realize is that cats are social creatures and that house cats need human interaction. To neglect this side of a cat only creates behavior that perpetuates the myth.
The truth is that cats’ social behavior is misunderstood. If more people learned that a cat’s needs are in this area, you’d see many more friendly cats — and also many more therapy cats. I love doing my therapy pet work, but there’s only so much I can do as one kitty! We need so many more therapy cat volunteers.
The Social Structure of Dogs Versus the Social Structure of Cats
Dogs and cats have very different social structures in general, and this helps drive the idea that dogs are more socialized. The human social structure is far more similar to dogs.
Dogs Are Pack Animals, and Humans Are Similar
Dogs are most comfortable being part of a cohesive group. They work cooperatively and have a social structure. Who else is like that? Humans, as this Psychology Today article points out. Since the majority of humans are used to living in this type of environment, they not only gravitate to dogs, they’ve selectively bred them to enhance this feature.
Cat Colonies Are More Loosely Structured, With Room for Individual Expression
While cats are solitary hunters, outside on their own, they often form colonies that are matrilineal based. While there may be more dominant cats than others, there’s no alpha and things tend to be more fluid. In addition, cats tend to have territories, and that’s an important part of their structure. You can learn a little more about cat colonies in this paper about social organization in the cat.
Since there’s no true leadership, and colony cats tend to function more independently, it’s harder for humans to understand the social structure of cats. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. It is, and it’s an important survival mechanism.
A Personal Observation
Case in point: as you may know, we have a small colony in our neighborhood. One time my human looked at her security cam video and saw a coyote headed up the path by her kitchen. The next video, just a minute or so later, showed the frightened coyote being chased off by a very angry colony cat. (Don’t worry — since then our neighbor has arranged a shelter to better protect the kitties from predators.)
So yes, cats in an established colony can be protective of the group.
The REAL Reason Cats Behave Less Socially Than Dogs
The truth is that cats are less socialized because humans expect them to be less social! It really does just come down to that.
Since humans don’t expect cats to be friendly or need their company as much as dogs do, they don’t get the same attention and behavior training that dogs do.
Dogs that don’t get enough socialization wind up with behavior quirks and can act out in destructive ways. Cats who suffer the kind of benign neglect that’s common tend to merely withdraw. They tend to only exhibit bad behavior if they are extremely stressed out.
Everything That People Do for Dogs
If you own a dog, or have friends that have dogs, think about everything their do for their best friends:
- Take them on walks every day
- Play with them frequently
- Take them to the dog park
- Bring them along on errands
- Send them to obedience school, or train them themselves
Dogs get a lot of socialization and companionship. Most of the time, cats are lucky to get one-tenth of that. So no wonder cats are less socialized.
Yes, You Can Have a More Social Cat
Cat socialization is like any other project — the more effort you put into it, the more get out of it! Think of all the attention people put into their dogs. Put some of that energy into building companionship with your cat.
Of course, cats aren’t dogs, so your approach will be different. But you still need to give them the attention.
What Motivates Cats to Be Social
Cats don’t function as pack or team members. Instead they’re very benefit oriented. They want to know what’s in it for them. Cats are motivated the most by the following rewards, and your cat will favor one or two of them over the others.
- Treats
- Toys and playtime
- Praise (yes, praise!)
You may be a little surprised by the last one on this list if you believe cats are aloof and impervious to affection. But you couldn’t be more wrong.
Praise Is the Secret Sauce Your Cat Needs
Cats respond to praise possibly more than anything else. They actually get a lot of pleasure out of it. No matter what you are doing with your cat, praise them. Did they eat all their dinner? Praise them. Did they catch the toy you threw? Praise them. Did they actually return the toy to you? Praise them even more! Even if you feel a bit foolish. Your cat will appreciate it.
Praise is such a positive human-feline interaction, and you can’t do too much of it.
Schedule in Treat Times and Playtimes
Cats thrive on routine. People with dogs have regular times they walk them, and usually certain days they take them to the dog park or do training sessions. So whatever activities you choose for your cat, have set times for them.
Anything that involves a regular routine and ends with a reward (treats, praise or both) will go a long way to make cats happy social creatures.
And the shorter the better. A 5 to 10 minute play, treat, or training session is perfect. Cats are natural sprinters. They’re not marathoners.
Spending Time With Your Cat Is Easy and Inexpensive
You don’t need anything fancy to work on making your cat friendlier and more social. A game of tossing treats across the room for them to chase is more than enough to make most cats happy. You can add any type of toy that suits them. The important thing is that you’re spending time with them doing something they enjoy.
You can also use those 5 or 10 minute get-togethers to teach them simple tricks like high fives, paw shakes or sitting up. Most cats enjoy learning something new, especially if they get lots of praise for their attempts.
Rewarding Good Behavior
Cats should also be rewarded for behavior that you want more of. If you would like your cat to spend more time with you, reward them whenever they are around you. Have company? Reward them when they stick around, and even more if they interact with a guest. If they need to be brushed or have their claws trimmed, reward them when you are done. If this is something they tend to resist, give them extra special treats when you finish.
More Advanced Socialization
Would your cat walk on a leash and go on adventures with you, or at least to the pet store? If you think your cat would enjoy these activities (not all cats do), start to introduce them slowly. Harness and leash training is a very gradual process that must be done in steps over time.
If you are taking your cat places, start off slow, simple, and very, very local. Make sure they are safe at all times, and reward them every time they go somewhere with you.
When you are taking your cat out of their territory, they need to trust you implicitly. In fact, when you are out with them, you become their territory and their safe space. And you need to establish that relationship with your cat before anything else. This is where all that work you put in comes handy — spending time with your cat and building a close and happy relationship with them.
The Other Key: Be Patient
Socializing a cat may seem difficult, but the truth is that it doesn’t involve any more work than a dog would. And most people aren’t complaining about the things they do for their dog (usually they brag about it!). Cats just need a different approach, and they develop their social skills more slowly. But if you hang in there, don’t push or force them, and let them figure it out at their own pace, they may surprise you.
If you would like to know more about cat socialization myths, check out this article in ScienceDirect.
Have you ever had an exceptionally social cat? Or socialized a cat that started out shy or withdrawn? I’d love to discuss it in the comments!
